Dating Diaries

I know I know....it's been FAR too long. But there is a reason.

I've been trying to keep my personal life off of the blog, which left teaching stories. By the end of the day I choose to forget half of them in trying to remain sane, so they don't make it long enough to be written out.

So, here we are, back to personal life. I have kept it off of the internet out of respect for those who were involved in my life. But that mutual respect wasn't really shown to me over time....so I might as well share the hilarity that ensued.

Have you ever heard the saying "Behind every bitch is the asshole who made her that way." Oh...excuse the swearing, it is relevant I PROMISE!!

So the assholes. I still do have respect for them. So I will switch their names. I talked with my mom, and told her I would rename them to the men who have always been there for me.

1. Jack Daniel's
2. Jim Beam
3. Johnnie Walker
4. Captain Morgan
5. Dr. McGillicuddy
6. Jose Cuervo

Side note: I feel like I should be taking shots of each of these men as I tell you these stories, but nevertheless, my liquor cabinet is a bit empty after this school year.

Let's start with Jack Daniels. We went out on a date. It was good. Good catching up with an old friend, great food, and a very comfortable night. But I didn't want to hang out the next night, because I had had an AWFUL day at school. So rather than keep conversing with me, a week later, A WEEK LATER, 7 DAYS LATER, I received this text: "Sorry I have not forgot about you. I have been really busy." Ummm......busy for the 24 hours of the past 7 days. I don't think so. When I received a "Happy Birthday" text from Jack, I was grateful, but I responded with being equally busy.

Jim Beam and Johnnie Walker decided to double up with the SAME issue. Ummm....I don't know about you, but when I have only been talking to someone for a few days, I DON'T want to talk about my showering habits, and the likelihood that you can JOIN me!!!! I think it is unbelievably rude, and frankly waaaaayyyyy toooo forward for me to have any respect for you!

Captain Morgan was a true gem. (please re-read that sentence with EXTREME sarcasm), okay thanks! So I needed to get out after I took a huge test (that is another blog post), and I called up a guy who had asked to take me out to dinner earlier that week. He wanted to meet up, so I drove down to Boston. Mind you, I drove 30 miles, while he walked a block. We had a very nice dinner and drinks. He invited me back to his apartment for a glass of wine. Now I hear all of you gasping, "Oh no! Why would she go back to a guy's apartment?" I get it, I get it. I PROMISE! I had my reasons, being that we had talked quite a bit over the previous week. I knew I was breaking a rule I had previously set for myself, but I was conscious of the decision.

So....we go back to his apartment, and as soon as the door closed behind me, I find his mouth on my face. It wasn't that he was a bad kisser, but I wasn't expecting it. But I moved on, and we kept kissing. All of a sudden I found his hands roaming.....NOT ALLOWED!!!! I pulled back and told him so. I shit you not this was his response "But I took you out to dinner and drinks, don't I deserve it?" UMMMMMM..........NO! No you don't!! You don't deserve anything! You made a choice to take me out, I'm making a choice to not sleep with you!

So he calmed down, and I was about to leave when he picked me up. As I set myself back down he said "I should get bonus gentleman points for not taking you to my bed and doing what I want with you!" ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......NO! Strike 2! No! You don't get bonus points for NOT raping me! You don't get bonus points for NOT committing a crime.

Strike 3 for the Captain, was as I was leaving I said he could get the bonus points for walking me to my car which was at least 5 blocks away, in the middle of Boston, and it was 10 p.m. and he said "No, I'm not walking you to your car." Ummmm good human being points don't even go your way. It took me over 30 minutes to find my car. I thank the good Lord above for Rissy, who stayed on the phone with me until I did find it.

Dr. McGillcuddy comes in from the wonderful app of tinder. He seemed like a nice guy. But within the first week of talking with him I answered the question "would you like to hang out sometime?" Sure! Absolutely! Will I ask myself out on a date? Heck, no! He made a "joke" at one point, on a day I was doing nothing, "oh it's too bad you're too busy to hang out today" Nope. Not okay. You haven't even asked me out on a date, don't try making a joke about not hanging out. Ugh. So when he finally did ask me out, for a few days later, HE DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO ME FOR THOSE FEW DAYS!!!!! I received a text at 8:45 p.m. the night of our supposed date, and he said "hey is it too late to hang out?" Yes. Yes it is too late. Reschedule? Yea sure, that's if you ever actually have the guts to talk to me again.

Last but not least, my man Jose. Now this was a guy that I was becoming good friends with. But after a few ridiculous jokes over a couple of months, that were truly not funny, I became annoyed. I found out from a mutual friend that Jose said "If Megan keeps acting like this, I'm going to go home early." Well.....if we are going to be so childish, then yes, please go home early. Save me the trouble.

When I went home, I was reminded that there are actually good men out there. Good friends, who even after months and years of separation can still care about you as a person. I think that's just another sign of needing to be home. But that's another post for another time ;)

Keep leaping,
M