Woes.

First year teacher problems...

I was always told that the first year of teaching would be overwhelming, but by going through Gordon I would at least have a general idea of what was going on.

Completing the first full week I truly understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Does everything that I am going through seem like material I covered at some point? Yes. But that doesn't exactly help when in the situation...

With having my air conditioner taken out in the middle of one of the hottest days, a student not speaking English, and the other 24 complaining that they were hot, it began to take it's toll on me.

Now, I'm not saying I can't handle stress, but when two different children have full on tantrums including but not limited to them throwing themselves around, throwing light objects, and heavy objects such as chairs, it becomes a bit frustrating. Two days in a row of such behavior and all of my teaching responsibilities on top of it, makes for a very long week.

Praying for Friday was at the top of my to do list for the past few days, because it was the only relief I could look forward to. The weekend could not have come faster.

These types of days are the ones that make you wonder about your life choices. I do know that I have been trained well, and that I have the heart of a wonderful teacher, but the stress begins to amount to such a level that everything that could possibly be considered logic is gone. Feeling like a terrible teacher, and a failure in the 3rd week isn't the job description that I signed up for. I just wonder what it would have been like to teach in a different school system? What it would be like to teach at a school that actually has a set curriculum? What it would be like to teach students with different demographics?

So many questions and not enough time to ponder...But I think that is a good thing because I having a reminder that these students are precious, and I am lucky to be in their lives.

This gem of a picture tends to help on the rough days with the rough students:

                                  

Pray for my sanity,
M